HEAD: This is silly.
ANDY: Shhh! OK, ready… open!
HEAD: What’s all this?
ANDY: For you.
HEAD: I don’t know what to say!
ANDY: I do… and it’s something I should’ve said a long time ago…
ANDY: I like you. I like that you get cold when it’s 23 degrees outside. I like that it takes you an hour and a half to eat a sandwich-
HEAD: Bit weird isn’t it, given my si-
ANDY: Shh. I’m being romantic.
ANDY: …you’re the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning. I mean I do, obviously, in the mirror, but I’ve never really seen you – know what I mean?
HEAD: Um, not really, but go on…
ANDY: I brought you here this evening because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your facial-grooming life with somebody, you want the rest of your facial-grooming life to start as soon as possible.
ANDY: Look, at the end of the day, I’m just a guy… kneeling in front of a giant version of his own head… asking him to love him.
HEAD: You had me at “put on this blindfold immediately and get in the car!”
ANDY: After all the neglect: the beards, goatees, stubble-rash …those mutton-chops!
ANDY: Every little missed patch of hair under my bottom lip: I’m going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Like royalty. Ruling over my face.
HEAD: I think it’s “reigning”.
ANDY: Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed…
ANDY: I’m King of the World!
ANDY: Oh crap, it’s my wife!
ANDY: She is not going to understand this…
Treat your face like royalty.
King of Shaves