Treat Your Face: Romantic dinner for two

Stuart treats his face to a proper shave and a well-earned romantic dinner for two. Lobster linguine, bottle of wine (with plastic straw), candles, the lot...

Take your face for granted? You shouldn’t. It’s super cool. It’s your wingman. It’s the first thing people see when they meet you. It’s your shop window. You should be treating it the way it deserves to be treated... like royalty.

Starring YouTube kings Stuart Ashen and Tom Webster.

Treat Your Face Right Video Transcript

HEAD: I was thinking the lobster linguine, but s’a bit much, innit?
STUART: What… price, or carbs, or what?
DATE: Erm, both.
STUART: If you want it, you get it. It’s cheat day. And you look fantastic.
HEAD: No… really? You don’t think my love handles-?
STUART: No, your ears are fine.
WAITER: Are ready to order?
STUART: Yes. I… shall have the…
STUART: Steak. Medium rare.
WAITER: Very good, sir. And for the…
STUART: He is going to have the lobster linguine and he is not going to argue about it.
WAITER: Excellent choice.
STUART: Oh – not for me, thanks; I’m driving. It goes straight to my head.
HEAD: Oh, thanks!
HEAD: Cheers. So, er – what’s all this about?
STUART: What d’you mean?
HEAD: Well… the meal and the wine, and that ’thing’ you did to me this morning.
HEAD: What was the name of that stuff?
STUART: Oh, the Advanced Shave Oil?
HEAD: Yeah. That was great.
STUART: Well it is a fantastic product from a risk-taking brand with a great sense of humour.
HEAD: What are you being so nice to me for?
STUART: Well… you’re my face. You’re special. You’re the first thing people see when they meet me. You’re like my ’shop window’. I should be doing this for you every day. I should be treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
*gross tongue noises*
BADLY-SHAVED HEAD: Shall we just go?
MAN: If you want dessert, have dessert…
BADLY-SHAVED HEAD: Well I don’t want a whole one.
MAN: I don’t want any, but if you want one – have one.
BADLY-SHAVED HEAD: Well, I’m not just going to sit here by myself and have a whole panna cotta while you smash birds against candy or jewels or whatever you’re playing.
MAN: Do you have to do that?
HEAD: Sorry…
STUART: Whoah. Let’s calm down there a bit, eh…? Yep.

Treat your face right.
King of Shaves